By the look of his flimsy eyes, he was ready to go again. Old James gathered his items scattered on the flat rock's surface, and without organizing them, threw them all into his sack with a casual flip of the arm, one after one.
The smoke of his fire had completely gone with the wind when he stepped out of the magic circle. What was before him, he couldn't imagine. He only knew that if he did not arrive at the castle before the Night of the Gale, his only daughter, Sapphire, would be sold to the Empire of the One, or better known as the pirates.
Jumping off the big rock, which had been exposed to the blessing of the moon and the sweetness of the dew, Old James began to count his steps while drawing a crude map of his trails. This could possibly be an important document to the villagers back at Little Rock's Fall because the people there had not yet treaded on the road to the Castle of Gazmore.
The forest surrounding him now, The Dark Beum, also known as the forbidden soil from the bed time stories, had a shadowy presence. Either the giant trees and mosses engulfed the light, creating a darker shades of the path and emanating a sad, dreary smell into the air. Old James watched his steps as he climbed over a small hill.
But he quickly felt uncertain as where he was heading, and had soon lost all sense of direction when he stole a breath from the immediate air and quietly swallowed it. There was no bird or any kind of insect producing noises of the summer, though he could hear faintly the sound of running water. The water supply he carried in his sack could last for three more days, maybe five. Old James thought better of it and went searching for the source of running water. He believed it could lessen the water supply people would have to carry if they ever decided to cross this land after his return.
A cross was drew on the map, an approximate location of where he was. Old James then carefully put his heavily inked feather tips an inch away from the map as he trotted toward the water. He thought it would be a river, possibly with a shallow pond that would allow him to gather fresh water.
The splashing. Old James laughed at the sound of it and hastened forward. His feather was hovering steadily over the sheet of map, dotting at interval to indicate the trail he took simultaneously. Closer, closer, he could saw the waterfall. He was ever closer to the water when suddenly he slipped over an wet cobblestone and took a plunge down into the pool below.
His hands patting water, his legs running air. Old James got himself to the surface with a mouthful of fresh water. It was sweet as the meat from the Farland and pure as the lambs from the Lamberson's farm.
Old James swimmed to the river bank, a mere hand's distance. He could not even touch the stones until he reached for it. There was nothing but water between him and the land. Old James got curious and dived a little bit underwater to see how deep the pond of water gathered, but he could not see the depth of it except for the twinkling, shining reflection of the sun.
Finally he went ashore, left his wrinkled legs soaked in the young water. So much as he worried, he found his sack not in the water, but by some ill luck, hung onto the wild, spikeless vines at the edge where he fell.
He went around the water to find a path to his previous misshapen location but spotted none that wouldn't render a body full of sweat or require a body full of inexhaustible strength. At last, he chose the steep run of the hill, and slowly he went climbing to his sack.
To Be Continued (If I Ever)
REFLECTION
LACK OF DESCRIPTION OF THE ENVIRONMENT IN DEPTH
LACK OF CHARACTER DETAILS
REPETITION, SUCH AS THE PARAGRAPHS THAT MENTIONED ABOUT WATER
SENTENCE TOO LONG, CUT IT SHORT, DUDE
A LOT OF NAME DOESN'T MAKE SENSE, DON'T START OFF CREATING YOUR OWN WORLD IF YOU DON'T KNOW THEIR PLACE IN THE STORY
WHY SHOULD I CARE ABOUT OLD JAMES? HIS DAUGHTER SEXY OR SOMETHING?
SCENE TRANSIT TOO QUICKLY, LIKE HOW OLD JAMES PLUNGED INTO A POOL, SO PLEASE AVOID USING THE WORD 'SUDDENLY' AS IT TEND TO ESCALATE THINGS IN A UNSURPRISING WAY, MOSTLY BECAUSE THE WORD 'SUDDENLY' HAS ALREADY GAVE AWAY THE INTENDED SURPRISE, INSTEAD, TRY TO ILLUSTRATE HOW OLD JAMES GOT THERE, WHAT MAKES HIM SO CLUMSY, AND WHY COULDN'T HE PREVENT HIMSELF FROM FALLING, MAYBE HIS EMOTION?
WHAT DO YOU MEAN BY FLIMSY EYES, SILLY?
FINISH WHAT YOU HAVE STARTED, DUMB DUMB
